On New Year's Eve, I went to bed at 11pm after watching a TV film with my mum, accompanied by some takeaway sushi and a huge cup of herbal tea. To be honest, I wasn't really lamenting the absence of a dirty rave somewhere, huddled outside in the rain, smoking and shouting in somebody's ear about how you knew somebody at the party. I just felt a bit tired, and I think the majority of the population did too. I also slightly dreaded the upcoming weeks, as I do most New Year's.
I've always found January to be the worst month. With the big C word aside and the already likely premise of civil implosion in the US - well done, guys! We made it 6 days into the year! - the month has always stood out, or rather festered like an untreated wound or a bad hangover, as one where the world seems to go stagnant. Christmas holidays are over. You've spent all your money on things like gym subscriptions, which you can't use due to obvious reasons, and online courses that you bought in a moment of frenzied enthusiasm which now sit, untouched, on your desktop. It's grey outside, with a half-assed amount of sludgy snow on the ground and a wind that feels like frozen knives hitting you in the face. It gets dark at four thirty. To add insult to injury, you're still in this weird lockdown that you wouldn't have been able to fathom a year ago. Things are weird.
January sits as the waiting room of the upcoming year, where you sit in a tightly-packed room with people who don't talk to each other, an air of nervousness and expectation that you can feel on your skin. The objectives and results of the upcoming year could be compared to receiving some worrying medical results, or maybe as a huge sigh of relief when you realise that the thing you freaked out about in December will actually turn out to be fine in the end. The mood is awkward and full of potential, while people look wistfully out at the warmer months to come.
For some, this month is an stale, depressing amalgamation of stress of the upcoming year, a feeling of failure, the anxiousness about the state of the world and the underlying feeling of not being in control. I personally have felt the effects of this type of January since last week, with an uncertainty of where I'm going to live, who I will be able to see, and the not-knowing of the future ahead. On the other hand, maybe taking four weeks at the start of the year to get all your worries and thoughts out might be better than spreading them out equally throughout 2021. I don't know.
The other way of looking at it is with an optimistic, or rather realistic lens, which I know for some can seem very difficult at the moment. The saying of 'we're all in the same boat' is bullshit, and I've often found it offensive that we can compare people working since March in essential jobs, earning minimum wage, to people working from home with a garden and food delivered weekly. Everybody hurts differently right now. But what can be said is that if you can make the time, January might not be so bad after all - if you want to make it so.
Some things I've appreciated over the winter break and up until now have quite literally kept me sane over months, serving as a daily affirmation and comfort that I hope can help people out over the next tough weeks. Here are three:
So. While January - and god help us, February too - might be looming like a black cloud over our heads, let's try and treat it like a time where you can just be present and focus on yourself. Make it the most selfish month, where you can make it all about you - focusing on things that make you happy and letting yourself fall out of it at times, too. Take a deep breath. We are all moving slowly and together.
Hi guys! I hope everybody is coping and looking out at this upcoming year with some hope and optimism - as hard as that can be. This article is from a series of upcoming diary entries that I would like to - hopefully - send out each month. I’m planning on writing more often, and a good way of doing that is to write down the things that have been going on in my own life while still focusing on bigger, more long-form essays. Let me know what you think! :) @fraeji
I've always found January to be the worst month. With the big C word aside and the already likely premise of civil implosion in the US - well done, guys! We made it 6 days into the year! - the month has always stood out, or rather festered like an untreated wound or a bad hangover, as one where the world seems to go stagnant. Christmas holidays are over. You've spent all your money on things like gym subscriptions, which you can't use due to obvious reasons, and online courses that you bought in a moment of frenzied enthusiasm which now sit, untouched, on your desktop. It's grey outside, with a half-assed amount of sludgy snow on the ground and a wind that feels like frozen knives hitting you in the face. It gets dark at four thirty. To add insult to injury, you're still in this weird lockdown that you wouldn't have been able to fathom a year ago. Things are weird.
January sits as the waiting room of the upcoming year, where you sit in a tightly-packed room with people who don't talk to each other, an air of nervousness and expectation that you can feel on your skin. The objectives and results of the upcoming year could be compared to receiving some worrying medical results, or maybe as a huge sigh of relief when you realise that the thing you freaked out about in December will actually turn out to be fine in the end. The mood is awkward and full of potential, while people look wistfully out at the warmer months to come.
For some, this month is an stale, depressing amalgamation of stress of the upcoming year, a feeling of failure, the anxiousness about the state of the world and the underlying feeling of not being in control. I personally have felt the effects of this type of January since last week, with an uncertainty of where I'm going to live, who I will be able to see, and the not-knowing of the future ahead. On the other hand, maybe taking four weeks at the start of the year to get all your worries and thoughts out might be better than spreading them out equally throughout 2021. I don't know.
The other way of looking at it is with an optimistic, or rather realistic lens, which I know for some can seem very difficult at the moment. The saying of 'we're all in the same boat' is bullshit, and I've often found it offensive that we can compare people working since March in essential jobs, earning minimum wage, to people working from home with a garden and food delivered weekly. Everybody hurts differently right now. But what can be said is that if you can make the time, January might not be so bad after all - if you want to make it so.
Some things I've appreciated over the winter break and up until now have quite literally kept me sane over months, serving as a daily affirmation and comfort that I hope can help people out over the next tough weeks. Here are three:
- Plan your breakfast before you go to bed. If you're going to be working from home for the foreseeable, then one thing I've enjoyed, weirdly, is deciding what I'm going to enjoy when I wake up. You'll go to bed looking forward to the next morning - and I'm not sure if this is the extent of my social life and excitability in 2021, but it has helped me wake up with a sort of immediate plan that I can check off as soon as I get up.
- Checking off, goals, checklists. Something I've become concretely committed to is checking off the things that I need to do for the upcoming day, whether that be something as important as booking a dentist's appointment or just to do some internet research. No matter how big or small, you'll be able to feel better knowing you've done something that you needed to do and can put it to the side. The 'ticking' off the button beside the task is just delicious.
- Make an obscure goal. I've decided that my weird goal for the month of January is to do a crow's pose, successfully. It's been a yoga pose that I've always hated and fall out of constantly in my practice, but now I've been determined to train a little bit each day in order to finally do it without falling flat on my face. Whether it's doing the splits, learning to juggle or do a backflip, a physical goal will make you feel better both mentally and within your body.
So. While January - and god help us, February too - might be looming like a black cloud over our heads, let's try and treat it like a time where you can just be present and focus on yourself. Make it the most selfish month, where you can make it all about you - focusing on things that make you happy and letting yourself fall out of it at times, too. Take a deep breath. We are all moving slowly and together.
Hi guys! I hope everybody is coping and looking out at this upcoming year with some hope and optimism - as hard as that can be. This article is from a series of upcoming diary entries that I would like to - hopefully - send out each month. I’m planning on writing more often, and a good way of doing that is to write down the things that have been going on in my own life while still focusing on bigger, more long-form essays. Let me know what you think! :) @fraeji